Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Why am I single?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Insane Clown Posse accidentally headlines Bonnaroo after rain forces festival shutdown - Detroit Metro Times

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I can read

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

HBO’s Gruesome True-Crime Doc Tried to Have Its Bombshell Moment. There’s Just One Problem. - Slate Magazine

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Can supporters of gun control explain the purpose behind a gun registry?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why do old men think young women and girls would want them over guys their own age?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Why am I always so tired, no matter how much I sleep?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

What is the most peculiar thing about the human brain?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

— we are metamorphosing!

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ Star Brad Garrett Says the Sitcom Will ‘Never’ Be Rebooted: ‘There Is No Show Without the Parents’ - Variety

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t buy bullshit

Critically Panned MindsEye Makes Surprising Debut in First Sales Report - Push Square

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

How do you deal with neighbors who are always telling you what to do?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What misfortune led to an important discovery?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have a reading level above third grade

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

It seems that I am cursed with bad luck. How do I break such a curse?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Why can’t Trump campaign on the real issues facing America rather than insulting the character of VP Harris? Does MAGA actually believe this tactic will work?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I actually pay taxes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can count

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I see through liars

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes